Domestic Engineering: Figure Out Your Big Rocks

Some days I get caught up in urgent but unimportant tasks.

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Other days I am able to discern what I should devote my time to.

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Every day I need the Holy Spirit’s help to use my time wisely.

When Geoffrey and I got married I tried to run our home the way my mom did. She made it look easy. I felt like I was drowning. Our first year of marriage involved several hard circumstances. Working 60-70 hours a week for my first year of teaching was one of them.

I remember sharing with a friend that I couldn’t seem to stay on top of things like my mom was able to. She kindly pointed out two things to me:

1. We were in very different seasons of life.
2. My mom made it look easy because for her it was. She has had more than my entire lifetime to figure out what works for her.

The Big Rocks 

During our first year of marriage, Geoffrey sat down with me to discuss all the things I was overwhelmed by. From that conversation, he discerned my need for clear parameters. The result was a list of big, medium, and small rocks to help me know how I should be spending my time. If you haven’t heard of putting “big rocks first” this video explains the concept well.

What I am going to share here is our convictions about what God would have me focus on. This list is based on our current understanding of Scripture and our current season of life. 

While there will likely be some overlap for you, no one is in the exact same circumstances. Different life circumstances and factors affect what takes precedence in our lives. For us, my priorities are as follows:

BIG ROCKS

• Growing my relationship with God.
• Investing in my relationship with Geoffrey.
• Discipling, training, and building my relationship with our children. 
• Before having kids this  “rock” was my teaching job.
• Having fellowship with others through pursuing and discussing truth.
• Taking intentional steps to care for my health.

MEDIUM ROCKS

• Managing our home through budgeting, cleaning, and keeping our family clothed and fed.
• Intentional study of doctrine beyond what I’m learning in my personal study.
• Seeking to meet needs outside of our home as I’m made aware of them.
• Entertaining guests in our home.

SMALL ROCKS

• Taking on any part-time employment.
• Hanging out with friends for fun.
• Relaxing through digital media.

Why Big Rocks Matter

I am preparing to homeschool our oldest this upcoming fall. As a result, I've spent the last month figuring out how to streamline managing our home. Saving brain space is something I've come to value more and more with each new baby we've had. 

I recently finished a book where the author asserted that

"...the effort of decision is the most exhausting effort of life." ~ Charlotte Mason, Home Education

The more I reflect on this idea, the more I'm convinced it's correct.

If I don't have a plan for the day, I waste my time jumping from one uncompleted task to the next. I also tend to feel overwhelmed and anxious that I'm forgetting something important. Having "Big Rocks" anchors me.

Ephesians 5:15-17 exhorts believers to

"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is." 

As you can see from the above list, caring for the home is not in my top five priorities. The reason I'm starting with my list of big rocks is that these inform the day to day of how I manage our home. They directly impact the how I create my daily schedule.

The rest of this series will find us quickly hitting the ground level where the rubber meets the road. However, we need to start with this 30,000-foot view to keep the big picture in mind.

Life is short and eternity awaits all of us. If you don't know what your top priorities are, please take the time to figure them out. Pray, consider what God's Word says, and talk to other believers who love God's Word. If you're married, seek unity with your husband about what you should devote your time and energy to.

Knowing my kids are a "big rock" frees me to address a conflict they're in and leave a cleaning task unfinished. Prioritizing hospitality and service releases me to say "no" to tutoring opportunities. I can only handle so much and am slowly learning that saying "yes" to one thing means saying "no" to a lot of other things. 

My prayer is that through this series the Lord will "Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom" (Psalm 90:12).

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* Photo by Breakingpic on Pexels.